There were 3 magpies that just happen to be hanging around viewing area in the rain hoping we would feed them becaue it was too wet to go looking for food. It is illegal to feed animals in the Rocky Mountain National Park, but a lot of tourist do any way. There were quite a few people taking pictures of these guys in the rain. I sat on a bench as this one sat on the one right next to me. If I thought he wouldn't run away I would have touched his feathers.

 if you want to view some of my photos you can go to this site  http://sjlh.photostockplus.com/.  However I still have some work to do on organizing and I haven't gotten around to yet.  Enjoy.

It has been almost 2 months since I've written here and so much has happened in that time.  When life feels so over whelming I don't know where to begin to write and if I let it go to long then the writting feels overwhelming.

So here is an outline of posts to come:

Slide show of road trip to Washington state and back.

Slide show of climb up Saint May's Glacier and other places I went with my mother on her visit here.

Details on the deteriorating situation at work.

Details on the situation at home.

So until then my friends I will talk to you later.

Besos.

Here is the link I was telling some of you about.  So far I heard some good reactions.

http://roguepenguin.livejournal.com


Start from the bottom, it's funnier that way.

Date:	2007-05-10 09:25
Subject:	Nightline...
Security:	Public
Mood:	amused

Last night while I was trying to sleep (I ate too much for dinner) I was surfing around on my boob tube when I saw a clip of Kurt Cameron being interviewed.  Now I've been slightly fascinated with Kurt Cameron not because he is a Christian but because he has been portrayed as a slight kook who has this intense passion for Christ.  So I was interested in what Nightline had to say about Kurt.  It turns out that Kurt and this other guy challenged these 2 famous atheists to a debate to prove the existence of God without using the Gospel.  Now that sounded interesting.  But what was really neat was the debate was held at my church in NY.  It was nice to see these familiar faces on TV.  However the debate didn't seem to go to well for either side.  And furthermore there seemed to be a lot of atheists in the audience.  I have been a member of this church for 5 years and I know that there are a lot of scientists at this church and I'm wondering where they were, or maybe the media just edited them out.  My Sunday class leader is a research chemist for NYU, in fact I think he is one of the heads.  I know so many doctors and lawyers at this church that could always debate this argument scientifically but I didn't see one on the piece they aired.  Interesting.  I also know that the side for creationism left out some important points like that the evolution theory flies in the face of the first 2 laws of thermodynamics.

First law:
Energy can be changed from one form to another, but it cannot be created or destroyed. The total amount of energy and matter in the Universe remains constant, merely changing from one form to another. The First Law of Thermodynamics (Conservation) states that energy is always conserved, it cannot be created or destroyed. In essence, energy can be converted from one form into another.

So where did the amebas, single celled organisms that crawled out of that primordial soup come from?

Second law:
states that "in all energy exchanges, if no energy enters or leaves the system, the potential energy of the state will always be less than that of the initial state." This is also commonly referred to as entropy. A watch spring-driven watch will run until the potential energy in the spring is converted, and not again until energy is reapplied to the spring to rewind it. A car that has run out of gas will not run again until you walk 10 miles to a gas station and refuel the car. Once the potential energy locked in carbohydrates is converted into kinetic energy (energy in use or motion), the organism will get no more until energy is input again. In the process of energy transfer, some energy will dissipate as heat. Entropy is a measure of disorder: cells are NOT disordered and so have low entropy. The flow of energy maintains order and life. Entropy wins when organisms cease to take in energy and die.

So we are devolving not evolving.

What about the DNA structure?  Genetists have been so amazed by the exacting structure and nature that more and more non-Christian scientist have come to the same conclusion that it cannot be by chance and that it must be by intelligent design.  The probability that it is by chance is so astronomically impossible that it cannot be by intelligent design.  How the carbon14 process that dates objects is a flawed process admited so by the scientific community.  So some of their findings are not as old as they think and since it takes millions of years to evolve maybe it was created and not evolved.  What about the erruption at Mt. St. Helens?  The explosion destoyed all life in that area that they believed it would take many decades before life would return.  It only took 10 years.  The scientist there were so amazed they believe they have to recalculate the age of the earth based on the finding at Mt. St. Helens and they believe the earth is younger then first calculated.  So many other points that I could spend all day writing about but I have to be more productive at work.

I heard none of these points during this debate by anyone.  I am starting to question Nightline and I think everyone else should too.

Work:
I've lately been put into situations that are well beyond my capabilities.  What's more is I'm being told I'm the technical lead in this situation that is again well beyond my capabilities.  I've have really worked hard in research and learning to get up to speed but as a code monkey  network and configuration is not my forte,  I can learn easily if I have someone to guide me.  Well that person left a month ago.  I am not capable of rectifying this situation.  It was originally suppose to be configured and running and THEN handed over to me to learn and customize.  Again that person left over a month ago.  Thank God we are able to bring in consultants to get this set up.  In some ways I feel like I failed because I couldn't save the day, but I am relieved because I am not capable of doing this.  I am glad that I know my limitations but I'm sad because I have limitations.  I like being the hero at work and usually I am but not at this place.  There isn't any time for heroes here just soldiers.  I can't tell you how many times I have prayer before I've started working or prayed on this job before I even leave the house.  I'm glad that some one is coming to rescue us (the consultants), it will make my life easier and I will be able to do the job I'm suppose to do, the one I'm capable of doing.  And that should be hero enough for me, to do the best I can with the God given skills I have, to give to my employer as I would give to God because it is God who puts me here in the first place, and it is He who keeps me here in the second place.  So today I will not look on my bosses with contempt but with compassion, permitting me to have a better attitude as well.

Spider:
He is not eating too much again except if I pick up his food bowl and bring it to him then he will eat ravenously.  Maybe it's the heavy traffic in the kitchen, or the area that he doesn't like?  But for spider to be picky is strange he usually eats a lot and I have a hard time keeping him away from food.  I'm really praying he gets better.  Some days I think he will but I know that it is in denial of what is.

Italian sausage:
Well the swelling has gone down on my finger and it is all purple and green and now it is starting to hurt.  I think because the nerve endings are starting to connect again...my poor limpy finger.  Not broken though.

Date:	2007-04-20 09:03
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	tired

Last night I went to a cocktail party given by Volunteers of America organization.  I got to go because I have a friend who is a production engineer for Coors and Coors is a corporate sponsor for Volunteers of America.  So at some point the party coordinator started to make a speech and introduce the keynote speaker when I noticed this women standing next us at our table.  She wasn't there a second ago.  But then when I looked at her my gay-dar went off.  She was well dressed but a little butch.  and I thought "uh, a high powered lesbian", it was nothing just something I noted in my head.  Then the coordinator introduced the Governor's wife Annie Ritter and who do you think walks up to the microphone none other than the high powered lesbian.  So I thought "maybe I'm off" but when she walked back to our table she was walking very manish.  Well it's not like I haven't been mistaken for a lesbian on more than one occasion but I just thought that was funny.  She came back to our table and chatted us up.  She was very nice and very personable.  But here is the real story:  I work with guy here who's roommate worked on the campaign on the former incumbent and he told me that when the Ritters were doing charity work in Africa for 3 years as a young couple they had to leave suddenly because Bill Ritter ran a man over with his car and killed him and to avoid prosecution they fled the country.  So at this charity event they mentioned that trip like 5 times in the speech given and every time I heard it I kept thinking "Isn't that where he killed the guy".

ah, Coloradans  what a wacky bunch.

Date:	2007-04-19 11:46
Subject:	Italian sausages....
Security:	Public
Mood:	relieved

Lately I've been very stressed.  Moving to a new place where I don't know anyone, work where my boss quits and the sky falls, my finances stretched to the limit, and my only companion cat is sick.  Even though things were sort of getting better I was stil very stressed.  Yesterday when I got home I went to the mail box and found that all my IRS checks came in (yeah) but I was still grumbling and feeling sorry for myself.  As I closed my front door a gust of wind that came in from my open balcony door slammed the door on my hand at the base of my pointer finger really really hard.  It hurt so bad I can't even tell you.  I immediately dropped everything that were in my hands.  And in my unbelievable pain, the first thing I thought was "take of your shoes before you walk on the carpet", I did.  Then while I was crying from the pain I went into the kitchen to check on my cat's food bowl and it was completely empty.  Then still crying (and by crying I mean sobbing)  I take off my glasses so they won't get smudged or broken in the process of crying I guess and put them on the dinning area table.  Then I tried putting  ice and cold water on it but it just made it worse.  So instead I just sat on my bed and had a really good cry and when I was done laid down with my hand resting on my knee giving it time to adjust.  It swell up like a balloon but it stopped hurting.  It's not broken, just swollen.  However I'm in a great mood because I had a good cry and feel relieved of all my stress.  Plus I have money to pay of debt and my cat ate!  All my difficulties are working out and I'm getting everything I need.  Suddenly I have friends who want to go out with me, I have money to pay off debt that will be a huge relief to my already stretched budget,  my job is getting some what better and I'm going to a cocktail party with a friend to network, so who knows I might have another job before long, and my cat eat all his food.  I'm really grateful to God for taking care of my needs.  Because all these things turned around in 1 weeks time.  Only God can do that.  and even though My finger is swollen and stiff like an italian sausage it doesn't really hurt and it is quite functional.

Spider watch:

He ate all his food from yesterday morning and last night.

Date:	2007-04-18 12:24
Subject:	Taxes!!!!!!
Security:	Public
Mood:	relieved

Well another Tax season is gone (Thank you God!!!).  And except for a 2004 amends I have to file to get money back, this is the last time I will have to file with the State of NY.  THANK YOU SWEET JESUS!  My fight with NY state has spanned over 3 years.  They wrongly taxed me and forced me into debt to pay them what I didn't owe.  It wasn't until I hired a Tax Accountant and gave him power of attorney to go into the IRS building to straighten this situation out that I got out from under their thumb.  Mind you I don't have any deductions.  None.  They wrongly taxed me for 3 years and I have to file an Amends for each one even though the mistake is exactly the same for each one.  And during those 3 years they would send me a bill randomly for $200 or $50 without any explanation as to the charge.  I would have to call up each time and find out what the charge was for.  These were penalties for doing a payment plan with them and not finishing up the full payment in the year I owe the money or some sort of thing.  And if I didn't pay they would add more penalties and interest and then finally a tax lien.  It was becoming a real shake down.  When I filed and amends for 2002 they admitted they owed me money and they sent me back 6 checks with a collective total of $400.  that meant I got 2 checks for $100, 3 checks for like $30, and so on, and I received them exactly the same time.  Now they owe my $1500 and they are waiting to see if I owe them money for 2006 before they send of that check.  They are real criminals.  I saw a documentary about the IRS system and what one politician said was "the IRS system is a system of criminals that unlike the mofia don't work on a system of honor.  and you have to think of the parties as not the democrats and the republicans but as the Gambinos and the Geneveses because that is how they operate".  I couldn't have said it better.

For a long time I had post traumatic stress dissorder when it came to getting the mail from the mail box, because I knew there would be a bill for NY state saying I owed them $2K or something and then I would have to spend and hour on the phone straightening it out because they already received that payment.  When I moved to Colorado I would only visit my mail box once a week because of this.  I know I shouldn't use the word hate so I will say this; "I LOATHE, LOATHE, LOATHE THE NY STATE DEPARTMENT OF TAXATION AND FINANCE".

When I was putting myself through school.  I would work full time during the day and take 12 credits at night.  The final year and a half, I had to live on student loans and go to school full time during the day or else I would never get out of school.  I applied for food stamps because I didn't have enough for food.  There were many a week where I only had $5 to feed myself that week.  They told me in order to receive it as a student I needed to work at least 20 hours a week.  Well if I had 20hrs a week to work I wouldn't need the food stamps.  That year I lived off of 13k and part of that had to pay for part of my tuition.  Out of all the times I've been laid off or out on disability or a floundering student I never got any help from my local government.  Unemployment doesn't count because I paid into that for decades and I only received a fraction of that back.  What a scam!

When I lived in NY I was paying 40% in taxes (between federal and local).  In Colorado I pay only 30%.  Can you imagine almost half my hard earned salary was going to the government?!!!!  I am so grateful for my tax accountant.  It's like have the DA protecting me from the mofia (both families).  He is worth every nickel I pay.

The best thing about living in Colorado is that I don't have to pay NY taxes anymore.

Spider's condition:
He's not eating too much of his food for the last day and a half.  I might have to bring him in sooner.  Maybe he will have eaten all the food I put out for him by the time I get home and he'll be okay.

I have to say I have the best cat known to man ever.  He is very smart (lots of people say that about their animals and children), he has all his claws and he doesn't touch anything but his scratching post ( I don't think you can say that about children).  When his sister Daisy was alive she was the dominant cat so I didn't really know Spider as well as I do now.  Now he trusts me 100% more than he ever did.  He is so comfortable with me it's amazing.  He really has blossomed into this great little creature that I've never known before.  Unfortunately I think he is in his last days.  The steroid shot he has gotten has not made him better, infact I think he is a bit worse.  I do for him as much as I can to make him happy and comfortable.  Because of this he has gotten even sweeter.  I love the way he curls up into a ball under my arms at night.  I love that he lets me hug him when I go to sleep.  Though he really hates when I kiss him (just like a boy!).  He is such a silly cat.  It's a shame that for almost 10 years I didn't know him as much as I do now, and now that I do I don't have much time with him left.  I think the end will be hard.  I pray that he will be calm so it won't be so traumatic for me when I have to put him down.  Sometimes I don't understand how the life of one cat can disturb the plans of God.  But I'm not God. 

So here I go again with yet another blog.  Lots of things happen here in my new colorado region so I guess I have new stories to tell.